Yup!! You read that right. For those of you wasting their time reading this blog and have fear of large fonts (magnofontaphobia?), I am related to Angelina jolie. I am also related to Scarlett Johansson, Brad Pitt and the whole galaxy of stars that can be viewed with the click of a mouse button (and a telescope if you’re perverted enough).
I am not related to them genetically, of course, but according to the theory of Six Degrees, I know all of them personally. According to this theory, everybody knows everyone else through at most six intermediaries. Now take some time to let this sink in, people. While you are doing that, allow me to illustrate the legal implications of this theory.
What this theory has done is given the FBI, CIA and all of the other bush’s cronies a legitimate reason to arrest you (well, it’s more legitimate than the one he gave for the Iraq thing ). You see, you could be related to some terrorist in Columbia, for all you may know. How is this possible? Allow me to illustrate with an example.
Your dad’s boss might know a wealthy American
The American might have a brat for a daughter. Now the daughter might have taken her gap year (you know the year about which countless entertaining movies have been based upon. If you still don’t know what I am talking about, you either have the social awareness of a prokaryote or you are asexual (or you are an advanced form of prokaryote with visual capabilities…hmmm….interesting)). And like a goody goody girl that she is, she goes for a camping trip with her ‘friends’ to----where else but sweet Columbia.
Over there, apart from their usual ‘activities’, they decide to explore Columbia. So they decide to hire a nice chap named Gonsalves.
What those unsuspecting Americans didn’t know was that our friend Gonsalves was a drug runner. So gonsalves, once his American friends are gone, is given the job to pick up a huge shipment from across the border. But there is a hitch in the plans and he is caught by a cop. Gonsalves, being a fast thinker, offers a bribe. The cop as usual plays ‘hard to get’ but finally accepts it as soon as he has enough to build a mansion.
After many years, the cop who successfully manages to elect himself as president, feels he is spending too much time indoors and decides to stretch his legs a little and go for a nice walk. But suddenly, out of the blue, appear a band of guerillas who kidnap the president. The guerilla leader is none other than the terrorist we were talking about.
Coming back to the point, I have successfully managed to link you with a terrorist in Columbia ( bombs ahoy!! ) through just six people – Dad, Boss, Wealthy American, Brat, Mr. Gonsalves and The President of Columbia.
As I first read about this theory, questions started flooding my mind. Are we really related to everybody else? What does this ‘everybody else’ refer to? Does it only include people in the civilized world or does it also refer to the tribals who have never been in contact with the outside world? How would I be related to them then? If somebody in my connection with somebody else dies, am I still connected to the second somebody? Are dead people counted? And anyways how do you define ‘people’? If we found a way to talk to animals, are they people too? Can Dr. Dolittle count his animals as people? Are aliens people?
That was just a sampler folks, but according to me, the six degrees theory works as long as you apply it only to ‘human beings’ living or occupying area which is part of the 245 entities recognized by the UN or are aboard ships, planes, spacecrafts and spacestations or doing spacewalks. I hope that was an exhaustive list as I am exhausted.
Disclaimer : Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.
Ps: if you are curious as to the fate of the president of Columbia , I would deem you to be a useless jobless bugger.
Ps2: if you are still curious, the president got released after he agreed to share the rein of power with the guerrillas, corruption took over and Shakira is hot.
