Ramblings of a die-hard poet and a film buff

"Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings"

These were the very famous words of a very famous poet - William Wordsworth.

It is my notion that poetry is a snapshot of your emotions and feelings at that time on paper. It can contain your happiest moments and your darkest fears. It can be about love or it can be about hate. It can be anything you want it to be but it is poetry only if it is a reflection of what you feel at the time. These were the very few rules I had for my poems. People write diary entries or blog about things which happen in their lives. I do neither of these. Instead I write poems.

There are movies to stimulate our senses and there are movies which talk to us. The latter is what makes the movies really magical and is to what i will be referring to from hereafter. Although most of the characters might be exaggerated there are very few characters with whom you can relate to. Although this relation might be absolutely fantastical and defies all logic, you still do relate them. Sometimes you can relate even to the most absurd of characters like The Smurfs or Michael Jackson ( ughh!!! I hope not ) but the decisions which he/she makes and the relationships he/she seems to have with the other characters seems perfectly logical even in the most bizarre or corniest of environments.

I saw one of these magical movies some time back. Stardust. I am pretty sure that nobody has heard of this movie as it is one of the most overlooked films of the year ( It even won an award for it!! No Kidding!! ). Although the story synopsis made the film sound very kiddish, boy am I glad I watched this one. The reasons to why I liked this film so much as I did are many but as I don't want to narrate the Ramayana and the Mahabaharatha right now, I shall let the reader have the privelege of letting them know that I have decided to skip ahead.

The reason for this post is to prove to the reader that sometimes even the most bizarre or silly events may bring back powerful recollections of emotions from the past, which is the reason I am posting this poem of mine written about two years back.

Fallen Star

Soft is the stars’ whisper
Gentle is the candle’s prayer
The sky below
The planets above

Stuck in an emptiness
You brought me here
And left me alone
Ripped apart by the cosmic void

Like a meteorite’s impact
Swift as a falling star
A dance of the moon
Was all we had

A galaxy apart now
But the stars still shine
They never stop, never did
The candle has dimmed
But it still glows

A step at a time
To the gates of infinity
Where we would meet
Once again.

Woohoo!! I am related to Angie!!!

Yup!! You read that right. For those of you wasting their time reading this blog and have fear of large fonts (magnofontaphobia?), I am related to Angelina jolie. I am also related to Scarlett Johansson, Brad Pitt and the whole galaxy of stars that can be viewed with the click of a mouse button (and a telescope if you’re perverted enough).

I am not related to them genetically, of course, but according to the theory of Six Degrees, I know all of them personally. According to this theory, everybody knows everyone else through at most six intermediaries. Now take some time to let this sink in, people. While you are doing that, allow me to illustrate the legal implications of this theory.

What this theory has done is given the FBI, CIA and all of the other bush’s cronies a legitimate reason to arrest you (well, it’s more legitimate than the one he gave for the Iraq thing ). You see, you could be related to some terrorist in Columbia, for all you may know. How is this possible? Allow me to illustrate with an example.

Your dad’s boss might know a wealthy American

The American might have a brat for a daughter. Now the daughter might have taken her gap year (you know the year about which countless entertaining movies have been based upon. If you still don’t know what I am talking about, you either have the social awareness of a prokaryote or you are asexual (or you are an advanced form of prokaryote with visual capabilities…hmmm….interesting)). And like a goody goody girl that she is, she goes for a camping trip with her ‘friends’ to----where else but sweet Columbia.

Over there, apart from their usual ‘activities’, they decide to explore Columbia. So they decide to hire a nice chap named Gonsalves.

What those unsuspecting Americans didn’t know was that our friend Gonsalves was a drug runner. So gonsalves, once his American friends are gone, is given the job to pick up a huge shipment from across the border. But there is a hitch in the plans and he is caught by a cop. Gonsalves, being a fast thinker, offers a bribe. The cop as usual plays ‘hard to get’ but finally accepts it as soon as he has enough to build a mansion.

After many years, the cop who successfully manages to elect himself as president, feels he is spending too much time indoors and decides to stretch his legs a little and go for a nice walk. But suddenly, out of the blue, appear a band of guerillas who kidnap the president. The guerilla leader is none other than the terrorist we were talking about.

Coming back to the point, I have successfully managed to link you with a terrorist in Columbia ( bombs ahoy!! ) through just six people – Dad, Boss, Wealthy American, Brat, Mr. Gonsalves and The President of Columbia.

As I first read about this theory, questions started flooding my mind. Are we really related to everybody else? What does this ‘everybody else’ refer to? Does it only include people in the civilized world or does it also refer to the tribals who have never been in contact with the outside world? How would I be related to them then? If somebody in my connection with somebody else dies, am I still connected to the second somebody? Are dead people counted? And anyways how do you define ‘people’? If we found a way to talk to animals, are they people too? Can Dr. Dolittle count his animals as people? Are aliens people?

That was just a sampler folks, but according to me, the six degrees theory works as long as you apply it only to ‘human beings’ living or occupying area which is part of the 245 entities recognized by the UN or are aboard ships, planes, spacecrafts and spacestations or doing spacewalks. I hope that was an exhaustive list as I am exhausted.

Disclaimer : Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

Ps: if you are curious as to the fate of the president of Columbia , I would deem you to be a useless jobless bugger.

Ps2: if you are still curious, the president got released after he agreed to share the rein of power with the guerrillas, corruption took over and Shakira is hot.

If only life was this simple, sigh!!

What i would give to have instincts like those.

I hate mondays!!!

I know that garfield was the first to say these very words but i echo them nevertheless. In IITM a monday is the worst day of the week as :-

1. i would have stayed up till 4 in the morning as is my usual ritual during weekends. I know its not normal but hey im not normal either (depends on your viewpoint on what is normal and what is not...would publish a post on normality pretty soon) or i might be suffering from a severe case of extended permanent jet lag.
2. We have a full day + workshop.

A typical monday schedule would look like this:-

7:00 - alarm rings ( snooze it )
7:05 - ""
7:10 - ""
7:15 - ""
7:20 - reset alarm to 7:45 (there's still some time left)
7:45 - wake up ( HOLY CRAP!!! 7:45!!!)
7:46 - brush, fart, etc (run, run, pant, pant )
7:50 - bath
7:56 - read newspaper (i still have 4 mins )
8:04 - Run, run, jump, run, cycle, cycle, fly, cycle, run, run, search for a comfy place to crash
8:11 - sleep
8:50 - wake up ( huh?? where am i? ) nd shift class

repeat crashing and waking up for the next 3 classes

11:50 - go to mess and eat the multicoloured hydrocarbons they serve.
12:30 - change into workshop clothes (conductor uniform ) complete physics problems for the next class
1:00 - go to physics tutorial and search for a comfy place to hide from the prof ( am i having deja vu?)
1:55 - cycle to ws
2:00 - 4:50 - try not to fall asleep and try not to burst out laughing at the prof's slogan language!!
5:00 - midnite - fart (for non-iitians reading this post, totally not what you are thinking) , grub (yipeee!!! hydrocarbons rule!!! ) , fart again.
midnite - more fart
2:00 - crash

repeat process!!

Naughty little Santa

I saw this while i was supposed to be mugging for ID110. Enjoy!!

Santas warned 'ho ho ho' offensive to women

Santas in Australia's largest city have been told not to use Father Christmas's traditional "ho ho ho" greeting because it may be offensive to women, it was reported Thursday.

Santa Clauses have instead been instructed to say "ha ha ha" instead, the Daily Telegraph reported.

One disgruntled Santa told the newspaper a recruitment firm warned him not to use "ho ho ho" because it could frighten children and was too close to "ho", a US slang term for prostitute.

"Gimme a break," said Julie Gale, who runs the campaign against sexualising children called Kids Free 2B Kids.

"We are talking about little kids who do not understand that "ho, ho, ho" has any other connotation and nor should they," she told the Telegraph.

"Leave Santa alone."

A local spokesman for the US-based Westaff recruitment firm said it was "misleading" to say the company had banned Santa's traditional greeting and it was being left up to the discretion of the individual Santa himself.

The female species

For years we have heard that the female species is very much different anatomically than the male ( google for "female + body" and you'll see my point!! ).
Evolution has made the female body very much different from the male body.
Apart from the most observable accumulation of fat at certain parts of the body, I realised today that females have another less observable feature in their bodies.
When I was a kid, I have heard a lot of jokes about fat wives nagging their husbands continuously and wondered whether females do really talk that much.
Today life has bestowed upon me infinite wisdom. I have realised that females do talk that much and a bit more.

As I was sitting in a classroom filled with pumps, valves and all kindsa plumbery (Is that a word?? if not, I am going to copyright it), staring at a lot of squiggly lines supposed to be circuits, I heard a small noise which you don't hear often at IITM. A female voice!! But what blew the beauty of the moment was that the creature kept on emitting that beautiful frequency for more than an hour non-stop.

Like the ancient saying goes, Even a beautiful song heard a hundred times in a row, becomes a dumb song.

I have concluded two ground breaking inferences from this experience.

1. All jokes are based on solid facts (at least part of the joke is)
2. females must have really strong jaw muscles to be able to keep them moving all the time.

Now what was the whole point of this blog entry?? There was no point!!
But in life most of the interesting experiences come from pointless experiences. Alrigh!! I'll stop blabbering for now but I promise you I'LL BE BACK. Mwah hah hah!!!