Blog shifted...

Hey all!!!
I have decided to shift to wordpress. Why?? Maybe because it looks more neat and minimalistic than blogspot?? really dunno.....neways....scoot people...look who's coming to Wordpress!!!

An Ode to Writer's Block

There are Great writers and bad ones. What differentiates them is what they do when they face writer's block. The bad ones take a trip to the country searching for inspiration. The good ones go to the library and 'borrow' inspiration.

Why am I telling you this?
I don't know.

Clearly I have a very acute case of scriptor clausus. (latin for writer's block. I just put that in for the pseud factor). Friends, Romans and countrymen, lend me your ears. (There I go again).

Dont be mistaken, my mind is swimming with thoughts, it is just that whenever I sit in front of my laptop to write something down, fate gives me another task. It got so irritating that I have decided to write something, even if it contained nothing at all. How much can you write about nothing? Well, I have already written 129 words. 136 words. 138 words. 140 words. 142 words.....

Not bad, not bad at all.

I remember having to write letters in my english exams. They used to give us a word limit of 200 words with 5 words give or take. If your letter exceeded or fell short of this limit, then they would start cutting marks. Come on!!! You can't predict how much a person wants to say. What about freedom of speech, dammit!! I'm suing. An insult to the intelligence of the pupil writing the exam. I mean, I've already exceeded the 200 word limit and I didn't have anything to say. So imagine how much a person who is given a topic can write.

If my diction and my flow of thought and all that nonsense is crap, I'm just making this up as I go along. You see, I have not had the privilege of having been given a topic to write upon unlike those choice few who are going to write exams. No, I have not been paid by the board to praise English as a subject (people don't take it seriously. Atleast I didn't). And before I incur the wrath of those who flunked their ingleez exams, let me quickly change the topic.

Still going strong...

Languages are beautiful. They are just like binary trees (It's a concept which only iitians and 8 other people in the world can comprehend). Once you choose a word, there are, logically, only a few other words which can follow it. Once you select a word from this list, only a few other words can follow it, and so on and so forth. If you keep on repeating this process, you will finally reach an end. This is what we humans know as a 'full stop' (no, they're not just symbols which help you to breath while talking and by chance you do not know what a 'full stop' is, forget about your ingleez exams). I could probably write a software which can do the above process for me, but since I am neither jobless nor crazy (an intersection between those sets, i am), I shall leave that to the IT guys (you find them everywhere these days, I found 1 in my fridge the other day). But dear readers, do not fear, I have not found such a machine and am definitely not unleashing it on this post. This is 110% thought of and written by human.

I imagine what would happen to humanity, if such a software is created. You could probably name it 'iWrite' or something (What??!! I did say I had writer's block, you know!!). You could just install it on your computer and once done, click on tools-->options, tweak some settings here and there, and Voila, you are ready! Have an email you have to send? iWrite will do it for you. Wanna write that prenup (which you think you'll never need)? iWrite can do it. Wanna update that blog you forgot about? No problemo, jus type in the URL and you are good to go.

Heck!! Why stop there? We can go on to use that Stephen Hawking talking thing ( no offence S.H., A great fan!! ). You don't even have to speak. iWrite will do it for you!! So iWrite can speak and think for you, why the hell would you need the human, when you have androids which are much faster and stronger. But we would require a power source. Idea!! Why don't we use the human as the power source, like in that Matrix movie? I must admit that this would be a marketing nightmare, but that can be avoided by putting a sign can't we? Like "Warning: AA batteries not included in package." Damn!! I should really think about advertising as a career.

This writer's block thing is really good isnt it? I've already written a 800 word post about nothing.

Want me to go on? I am a lil' like that energizer bunny. :)

The boy who screwed......his exam

I am waiting for the invigilator to hand the question sheet over to us. As I wait, for him to do so, a nagging thought haunts my already exhausted brain. "Have I done enough?" was what i kept on asking myself. I recollected the events of the last few days. We had a three day holiday (Good Friday + weekend) before our maths and chem exams. I remember how I resolved to use the first two days for chem and the remaining day for maths. I remember that every time I sat down to read the writings of Mr. Boyd and Mr. Lee, I would either doze off or end up doing something totally unrelated, to which cause my laptop contributed a lot ( I know its time I introduce you common folks to her (yeah! It's a 'she'!), but I have been postponing it to a more opportune moment (read I am too lazy to write about her) ).
The invigilator hands out the paper with a broad smile, reminding me of an evil alter ego of Santa Claus handing out doom and despair. I receive the paper with a mechanical smile. I go through the questions.
"Hmmm....Doesn't seem so tough."
"Ah! Vaska's complex!! I'm sure I know that one. I just went through it before the exam."
"Let me try to recollect it....Brain do your thing!!"

Several seconds later.....

"I'm sure I read it! What the hell is it?"

As is sit on the bench, trying to recollect question after question, it seemed futile, just like chasing a mirage. It seemed as though all memories of chemistry had been pushed deep into my sub conscience or worse......deleted. I manage to scribble down some answers to a couple of no-brainers which I hoped would elevate my marks to a decent two digits. And with ten minutes left for the bell, I have successfully not solved the last question.
As I come out of the hall, I see a lot of happy faces. I hear words like 'easy', 'peace max' floating around. Some of them ask me how the paper was. I feel like bashing their skulls on to the wall next to them, but I resist this sudden urge, and manage to utter one single word - "Bad".

"Bad"

One of the biggest understatements to slip the tongue of a human being. I don't feel the emotions that I should feel. I feel a certain numbness, the reason for which I can't begin to fathom. Then as I cycle to the hostel, I think of some of the questions and the answers start flowing automatically. I can't help but feel a little bit amused at the timing.
How can someone who once was so sure that he had answers to all the questions, now become like this? As I enter my room, I decide to record this memory somewhere and what better place than my own blog?

42....the answer to life?? Bullshit!!

What makes a person blog about himself at 3.30 in the morning, knowing full well that he has an exam the next day? The same reason he gets out into the moonlight, cycles 10km and back with only the moon and the stars for company. The same reason he wears jeans to bed. The same reason he keeps running away from life, but ultimately falls prey.

The reason?.....Confusion?

Why is life so confusing? why so many languages? why all this competition? Where does all of this lead to?

The answer?.....There is no answer.


Why do we compete against each other? Is it an inborn craving to be better than someone else?
Or is it a quality that we have been taught from birth?
As these questions form in the mind of this writer, an answer pops into his head. An answer that he has been given all his life for questions like these.

"That's the way life goes".

hmm....sounds reasonable enough. Alright, lets move on.

WAIT JUST A DARN MINUTE!!! That made absolutely no sense!!!

As I listen to a lil bit of Lily Allen on my beut of a laptop (more on that later), an outrageous thought starts forming in my brain. As mankind discovered fire, did he unwittingly open a Pandora's box? Is progress really a boon? Is this what we really want to be doing? As our civilization advances, so does our lust for more. Lust for more than what we have. Lust for what others have that we don't. It consumes us, like a fire, but we are just fuel to it. As it claims victim after victim, it only burns fiercer. It is, as clichéd as it may sound, a vicious cycle. Every step we take in the path of progress, we draw a step back from our inner instincts.

As we are drawn into this rat race from such a young age, we don't know a life outside it. How many amongst you can genuinely say that when you look at the stars, you feel free without remorse. Honestly, I can't lay claim to the previous statement. Infact, I feel saddened as a vision of me lying down in a never ending prairie with absolutely nothing to do flashes in my mind. I used to feel guilty as this very thought of bliss, but not anymore. I feel saddened at the life that i could never have.

Nobody to judge you, or your actions. No green eyes, staring at you. No tyranny. No need to fight anyone else. No need to fight yourself.

I do realise that this vision is absolutely impossible to achieve, but we can atleast follow our inner voice instead of becoming self aware once in awhile. Like riding about 20 km at 2:30 in the morning just because you want to feel the cool wind against your face. I did not do this because i was confused, far be from it, i did it because i just wanted to do it.

Ramblings of a die-hard poet and a film buff

"Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings"

These were the very famous words of a very famous poet - William Wordsworth.

It is my notion that poetry is a snapshot of your emotions and feelings at that time on paper. It can contain your happiest moments and your darkest fears. It can be about love or it can be about hate. It can be anything you want it to be but it is poetry only if it is a reflection of what you feel at the time. These were the very few rules I had for my poems. People write diary entries or blog about things which happen in their lives. I do neither of these. Instead I write poems.

There are movies to stimulate our senses and there are movies which talk to us. The latter is what makes the movies really magical and is to what i will be referring to from hereafter. Although most of the characters might be exaggerated there are very few characters with whom you can relate to. Although this relation might be absolutely fantastical and defies all logic, you still do relate them. Sometimes you can relate even to the most absurd of characters like The Smurfs or Michael Jackson ( ughh!!! I hope not ) but the decisions which he/she makes and the relationships he/she seems to have with the other characters seems perfectly logical even in the most bizarre or corniest of environments.

I saw one of these magical movies some time back. Stardust. I am pretty sure that nobody has heard of this movie as it is one of the most overlooked films of the year ( It even won an award for it!! No Kidding!! ). Although the story synopsis made the film sound very kiddish, boy am I glad I watched this one. The reasons to why I liked this film so much as I did are many but as I don't want to narrate the Ramayana and the Mahabaharatha right now, I shall let the reader have the privelege of letting them know that I have decided to skip ahead.

The reason for this post is to prove to the reader that sometimes even the most bizarre or silly events may bring back powerful recollections of emotions from the past, which is the reason I am posting this poem of mine written about two years back.

Fallen Star

Soft is the stars’ whisper
Gentle is the candle’s prayer
The sky below
The planets above

Stuck in an emptiness
You brought me here
And left me alone
Ripped apart by the cosmic void

Like a meteorite’s impact
Swift as a falling star
A dance of the moon
Was all we had

A galaxy apart now
But the stars still shine
They never stop, never did
The candle has dimmed
But it still glows

A step at a time
To the gates of infinity
Where we would meet
Once again.

Woohoo!! I am related to Angie!!!

Yup!! You read that right. For those of you wasting their time reading this blog and have fear of large fonts (magnofontaphobia?), I am related to Angelina jolie. I am also related to Scarlett Johansson, Brad Pitt and the whole galaxy of stars that can be viewed with the click of a mouse button (and a telescope if you’re perverted enough).

I am not related to them genetically, of course, but according to the theory of Six Degrees, I know all of them personally. According to this theory, everybody knows everyone else through at most six intermediaries. Now take some time to let this sink in, people. While you are doing that, allow me to illustrate the legal implications of this theory.

What this theory has done is given the FBI, CIA and all of the other bush’s cronies a legitimate reason to arrest you (well, it’s more legitimate than the one he gave for the Iraq thing ). You see, you could be related to some terrorist in Columbia, for all you may know. How is this possible? Allow me to illustrate with an example.

Your dad’s boss might know a wealthy American

The American might have a brat for a daughter. Now the daughter might have taken her gap year (you know the year about which countless entertaining movies have been based upon. If you still don’t know what I am talking about, you either have the social awareness of a prokaryote or you are asexual (or you are an advanced form of prokaryote with visual capabilities…hmmm….interesting)). And like a goody goody girl that she is, she goes for a camping trip with her ‘friends’ to----where else but sweet Columbia.

Over there, apart from their usual ‘activities’, they decide to explore Columbia. So they decide to hire a nice chap named Gonsalves.

What those unsuspecting Americans didn’t know was that our friend Gonsalves was a drug runner. So gonsalves, once his American friends are gone, is given the job to pick up a huge shipment from across the border. But there is a hitch in the plans and he is caught by a cop. Gonsalves, being a fast thinker, offers a bribe. The cop as usual plays ‘hard to get’ but finally accepts it as soon as he has enough to build a mansion.

After many years, the cop who successfully manages to elect himself as president, feels he is spending too much time indoors and decides to stretch his legs a little and go for a nice walk. But suddenly, out of the blue, appear a band of guerillas who kidnap the president. The guerilla leader is none other than the terrorist we were talking about.

Coming back to the point, I have successfully managed to link you with a terrorist in Columbia ( bombs ahoy!! ) through just six people – Dad, Boss, Wealthy American, Brat, Mr. Gonsalves and The President of Columbia.

As I first read about this theory, questions started flooding my mind. Are we really related to everybody else? What does this ‘everybody else’ refer to? Does it only include people in the civilized world or does it also refer to the tribals who have never been in contact with the outside world? How would I be related to them then? If somebody in my connection with somebody else dies, am I still connected to the second somebody? Are dead people counted? And anyways how do you define ‘people’? If we found a way to talk to animals, are they people too? Can Dr. Dolittle count his animals as people? Are aliens people?

That was just a sampler folks, but according to me, the six degrees theory works as long as you apply it only to ‘human beings’ living or occupying area which is part of the 245 entities recognized by the UN or are aboard ships, planes, spacecrafts and spacestations or doing spacewalks. I hope that was an exhaustive list as I am exhausted.

Disclaimer : Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

Ps: if you are curious as to the fate of the president of Columbia , I would deem you to be a useless jobless bugger.

Ps2: if you are still curious, the president got released after he agreed to share the rein of power with the guerrillas, corruption took over and Shakira is hot.